Not Crying is Not an Accomplishment

I'm not sure how many times I have heard, "I don't cry," from someone, proud as they say it to me. My response has always been the same, "Not crying is not an accomplishment." Now hear my response with some context: I am naturally a very sensitive and emotional person and with that I have spent a fair amount of my life crying. At one point in my life I would cry, even just a little, almost every day. It is not because I have lived a hard life, sometimes I cry over the smallest leaves falling in the sky. Also hear my response with the context that I do believe everyone is different, and that people cry less than I.

But hear me again: Not crying is not an accomplishment. Physically crying has a lot of benefits for the human body like reducing manganese levels which control anxiety in the body, or activating the parasympathetic nervous system which is needed in digestion and sleep, or releasing stress hormones from the body and oxytocin into the body. Psychologically it is also beneficial by creating more empathy within us, restoring emotional balance, dulling pain, and improving our mood. So not releasing those little drops of WATER when your body needs to is actually keeping you from so many benefits we all need.

I sat across the table from a friend who was on the phone. There has been a lot going on in this friend's life from home life to family, friends to career, to literally a sudden physical injury requiring surgery. And as I sat across from her as she took the call she just started crying. Small droplets of WATER dripped out from her eyes as her body cracked under the stress of it all. Wow. Mind you, we were out in public and crying in public is a whole other feat.

But she cried. All that she was trying to hold in, all she was trying to hold together was released in the WATER. After we left, I got to hear more and more about what sentences lingered in her head that caused her to cry. I got to, even just briefly, try to hold it all with her. She let me in and let me try to LOVE. Wow, what a gift!

So when people say, "I don't cry," what I hear is that they do not fully yet understand the connection between even the tiniest bit of WATER, and LOVE. Of course I know that the universe, or in this case the body, will not allow them to hold out forever. Somehow, the smallest bit of WATER seems to find a way out when the gift of LOVE is needed the most.

Tiny droplets of WATER have the power to heal the body and the mind. We all know this when we cry: somehow we feel just a tad better, even if for a moment. But beyond how those tiny bits of WATER help us LOVE our bodies better, it also has this way of allowing others to participate in LOVE with us, inviting more participants. Somehow those tears invite others to LOVE with us, for us, and next to us, binding us a little closer together.

Isn't that what its all about?